Travis's lame ol' blog

yay, Travis finally changed his blog!

- Monday, May 03, 2004


While looking for a Pocket PC robot kit, I found this badass pogo stick. The site says they've cleared 42" high with it. I want one!

[Update]: These look pretty sweet too.

Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro

Ran out of nails? ...or did he just pound the wrong thumb? There's a joke there somewhere. "The courts said his TV commercials were misleading and he tried to solicit business from a comatose accident victim without permission". (from Ern)

- Sunday, May 02, 2004

Tina Fey

SNL's Tina Fey has been in the press more than usual lately because she has a new movie coming out. For some reason I thought I might google to see how she got that scar on her face. I visited the first result and although it provides no useful (or truthful) info, it's pretty entertaining. Here's one user's comment:
4/4/2004 - 2:13
[Salamander West] http://www.clownpenis.fart
The real story behind Tina's scar:
In 1975 Lil' Lizzy, as she was called then, lived in Northern Pennsylvania. She was a bright kid and her parents were very proud of her. She did however express a few oddities that concerned them. Tina loved ham. Not in the way that many people do; she loved to play with it. She especially enjoyed it when it was frozen. On the day of the tragic accident, Tina's father was driving home from work when he found his little ham-loving princess running through the street with a large frozen ham she had apparently stolen from a nearby supermarket. He called to her from his car but in all her excitement, Tina had covered her entire head in mud and cat hair, as she often did at that age. Her father, Don (a.k.a. 'The Jackhammer'), made a critical mistake. He was desperate to protect his little angel from her addiction to ham (in 1975 ham was considered a narcotic), so he chucked a handful of yogurt from a bucket he kept in the passenger seat of his car. Unfortunately, the yogurt wad caught the 70-pound 6-year-old square in the chest. Stunned and embarrassed, she ran toward the house screaming 'Melons!' Her Mother stepped out of their trailer and did not recognize Tina right away, but she did recognize the ham, for she too had her dark obsessions. Without thinking, she grabbed a sack full of wet puppies and swung it at the child, knocking her into a farmer with a lisp. The farmer pulled out a toenail clipper and swung wildly in self defense. His attack proved true as he was quite the martial artist in his youth, and Tina was badly scarred. Don the Jackhammer ate the ham and never told his wife.

- Friday, April 30, 2004

How to turn your PC into a moblog...

...or how to VNC into your house. Pretty cool idea. I just need some robots to walk around my house now.

- Thursday, April 29, 2004

Google's Feeling Lucky

Bush To Iraqi Militants: 'Please Stop Bringing It On'

WASHINGTON, DC—In an internationally televised statement Monday, President Bush modified a July 2003 challenge to Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces. "Terrorists, Saddam loyalists, and anti-American insurgents: Please stop bringing it on now," Bush said at a Monday press conference. "Nine months and 500 U.S. casualties ago, I may have invited y'all to bring it on, but as of today, I formally rescind that statement. I would officially like for you to step back." The president added that the "it" Iraqis should stop bringing includes gunfire, bombings, grenade attacks, and suicide missions of all types. (stolen gratuitously from The Onion)

- Wednesday, April 28, 2004


Danny Hopkins was finally arrested for murdering a friend of a friend last October. 106mph in a 30mph zone ?!?! - all thanks to the black box in his Caddy. Of course this murderer's attorney is arguing that his client's right to privacy should eliminate the black box evidence. Aside from the eyewitnesses, fibers from his coat were found on the airbag. How can this asshole (and his asshole attorney) live with himself? (video)
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I learned a new word today: STET. Its direct meaning from Latin is "let it stand" - in proofreading terms it means "ignore my changes" - or in the words of Sealab 2021's Captain Murphy: "Shut up mailboxhead. It's cupcake time."


Hey jerks, I'm on Orkut. I'm only about a year late. It sure as hell kills Friendster's ass. (yay .Net!)
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The Sanchez Bros, they got some hella good rhymes. "I'm hittin switches in my Escort LT... not hydraulics, just wipers and defrost..." (from Jon)
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